A girl in my class always dresses up for every occasion, even in school. She’s kinda overdressed, but she looks good though! Today she looked very hippie like and my friend told me that she heard some girl talk about that overdressed girl. She wasn’t too nice about her and I felt really sorry, because she doesn’t deserve that. So I told that hippie girl that I liked her outfit and she was kinda insecure about it, while she’s never insecure! I think she might have heard that people we’re talking about the way she looked. But I’m glad that I gave her a compliment and made her feel a little better :)

I’m awake an hour too early, but it’s okay. I’m gonna tell you about my weekend. I went to a camp with all of the youth from my church. We do that every year and I don’t really look forward to it every time. This time I wasn’t either. We arrived in this big group house on Friday and had to pick a room where we were gonna sleep. I didn’t pick the correct one at first because I was with seven other girls, but they where about 14 years old, so I felt a bit left out. Later I moved to another room with two girls from my age.
The first thing we did was introduce ourselves through a weather report. That was exactly how it sounds like, confusing, but it was fun anyway. After that we went to the woods and played a game where you had to smuggle cards, it was pretty scary because it was really dark. This was also fun! When we got back, we were gonna have something to eat and then we went to bed.
The next day we were having breakfast and after that we were gonna do something active. All different games and teams and who could score the most points, wins. After that we played dodge ball, which was really awesome. We went to have lunch and then we had some spare time. My friend and I were going to our room and she loves to play her guitar and sing, so we were singing together and making music and I loved it! She can play and sing very well and also sings like in different keys that match the song, idk what that’s called in English. After about an hour, we were going to do a 5 kilometre walk and it was called, walking with God. We went in little groups and got deep questions about a psalm and about our relationship with God. It was nice but very tiring. Then we had more spare time and we went singing again! After a while, dinner was ready and we we went to eat. In the evening we had a little theatre where some people could perform something. Two of the supervisors where the hosts and they went a little crazy, with weird dances (we all had to join) and jokes. A few people of our group performed and then it was over. We had the choice whether or not we wanted to join the night game, because we were all freaking tired of the walking thing. My friend and I chose to stay in. We played a little guitar, talked a lot and ate a lot haha! It was fun. Then we went to bed.
The next morning we got breakfast again and we prepared ourselves for the next thing. We were going to do ‘Cross the line’. They copied everything from the TV show, but that didn’t matter. It was very moving and I had to cry the whole time. Not for myself, but because others were in so much pain. I saw a lot of boys cry and that made me so sad. I crossed the line also a couple of times. After that we were putting a piece of paper on our backs and had to write something nice on everyones back. I didn’t really felt like it at first, but then the sadness was gone and it was a lot of fun. When we read our papers, it was very nice to see all those happy faces. A few nice words can go a long way. Then, our supervisors where going to pray for each of us individually, it was very special. We had some spare time to pack our bags and we sang one more time. When we sang a beautiful Christian song, this girl from our room had to cry and that made me sad, because she was facing so much trouble. After we packed our bags, we went home very tired. That was my weekend.

I feel like I’m giving birth right now. My period cramps have never been so bad and I fucking hate being a girl. It made me think about really giving birth. One day it’s gonna happen and it will be far more worse than what I feel now, it’s scaring me. It will hurt so fucking bad, I don’t know if I will be able to do it. I hope so, cause one day I want to look at my child and think, it’s was definitely worth it.